🎟️
The Box Office
Two tiers of tragedy await.
Gallery Seat
Free
For the casually melodramatic
- ✓ 1 opera per day
- ✓ 4 instrument stems to layer
- ✓ 1 narrator voice (Onyx Basso Profondo)
- ✓ Standard ink-and-parchment diploma
- ✓ Shareable premiere page
- ✓ Vote on the public leaderboard
Most Dramatic
The Royal Box
$2.99 one-time
For the fully ruined
- ★ Unlimited operas
- ★ All 9 stems (harpsichord, children's choir, thunderclap)
- ★ All 10 narrator voices (including Shimmer the Soprano)
- ★ Gold-foil deluxe diploma
- ★ AI-generated coat of arms from your fail
- ★ Permanent personal archive at /archive
Frequently Wailed Questions
Is this a subscription?
No. One payment of $2.99 unlocks the Royal Box forever. Tragedy is eternal.
Can I request refunds if my opera is not tragic enough?
No opera is insufficiently tragic. The Maestro's verdict is final.
Is my autocorrect fail shared publicly?
Your opera appears on the public leaderboard once voted upon. If you prefer privacy, stage away — but know that great art demands an audience.